George Bush is a Saint
President George W. Bush was scheduled to visit the Methodist Church outside of Washington as part of his campaign.
Bush's campaign manager made a visit to the Bishop, and said to him "We've been getting a lot of bad publicity among Methodists because of Bush's position on stem cell research and the like. We'd gladly make a contribution to the church of $100,000 if during your sermon you'd say the President is a saint."
The Bishop thinks it over for a few moments and finally says, "The Church is in desperate need of funds and I will agree to do it."
Bush pompously shows up looking especially smug and as the sermon progresses the Bishop begins his homily: "George Bush is a petty, self-absorbed hypocrite and a nitwit. He is a liar, a cheat, and a low-intelligence weasel. He steals elections. He politicizes science.
He has lied about his military record and had the gall to put himself in a jet plane landing on a carrier posing before a banner stating 'Mission Accomplished.'
He invaded a country for oil and money, and is using it to lie to the American people. He continues to blur the line between church and state. Cronyism and corruption is rampant in his administration. He is the worst example of a Methodist I've ever personally known "
"But compared to Dick Cheney and the rest of his cabinet, George Bush is a saint."