A Letter to Dr. Laura
Categories: Humor
Dear Dr. Laura,
Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and I try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind him that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate.I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the specific laws and how to follow them:
- When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord (Lev. 1:9). The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?
- I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?
- I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of uncleanliness (Lev. 15:19-24). The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.
- Lev. 25:44 states that I may possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians??
- I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?
- A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination (Lev.11:10), it is a lesser sin than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this for us?
- Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?
- Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?
- I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?
- My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (a poly/cotten blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? (Lev. 24:10-16) Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their inlaws? (Lev. 20:14).
I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.
Your devoted disciple and adoring fan,
John Doe
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Re: A Letter to Dr. Laura
When these rules of Jewish Law were given to the people of God (slaves brought out of Egypt)... they were not out of the ordinary. This was literally over 2,000 years ago! Today we all are free in Christ, and every person matters to those who live in the Truth. I myself had a blind heart for years. Now I see by Grace. I see that some things are just the way he meant for them to be. For Ex: take the words Earth and World. Within earth you have the words ear, hear, and heart (it's all about the heart!)...and in World you have word and lord. So you can see what we call this planet Earth-World is, with your Ear Hear in your Heart the Word of the Lord!!!! Peace, Grace and Mercy to all....Paul
Posted by Paul on July 29, 2005 at 12:02 AM