Qualifying Exam
Categories: Humor
Instructions: Read each question carefully. Answer all question. Time limit, 4 hours. Begin immediately.
- MEDICINE. You have been provided with a razor blade, a piece of gauze and a bottle of Scotch. Remove your appendix. Do not suture until your work has been inspected. You have 15 minutes.
- HISTORY. Describe the history of the papacy from its origins to the present day, concentrating especially but not exclusively on its social, political, economic, religious and philosophical impact on Europe, Asia, America and Africa. Be brief, concise and specific.
- PUBLIC SPEAKING. Two thousand drug-crased aborigines are storming the classroom. Calm them. You may use any ancient language except Latin or Greek.
- BIOLOGY. Create life. Estimate the differences in subsequent human culture if this form of like had developed 500 million years earlier, with special attention to its probable effect on the English parlamentary system.
- MUSIC. Write a piano concerto. Orchestrate and perform it with a flute and drum. You will find a piano under your seat.
- ENGINEERING. The disassembled parts of a high-powered rifle have been placed in a box on your desk. You will also find an instruction manual printed in Swahili. In 10 minutes, a hungry Bengal tiger will be coming into the room. Take whaver action you deem to be appropriate. Be able to justify your decision.
- SOCIOLOGY. What sociological problem might accompany the end of the world? Construct an experiment to test your theory.
- MANAGEMENT SCIENCE. Define management. Define science. How do they relate? Create a generalized algorithm to optimize all managerial decisions. Assuming a Cray I CPU supporting 50 terminals, each terminal to activate your algorithm, design the communications interface and the necessary controls.
- PSYCHOLOGY. Based on you knowledge of their work, evalute the emotional stablity, degree of adjustment and repressed frustrations of each: Alexander of Aphrodisias, Ramses II, Gregory of Nicea, Hammurabi. Support you your evaluation with quotations from each man's work. It is not necessary to translate.
- POLITICAL SCIENCE. There is a red telephone on the desk beside you. StartWorld War III. Report at length on its socio-political effects, if any.
- ECONOMICS. Develop a realistic plan for refinancing the national debt. Trace the possible effects of your plan on these areas: Cubism, the Donatist controversy, the wave theory of light.
- EPISTEMOLOGY. Take a position for or against truth. Prove the validity of your position.
- PHYSICS. Explain the nature of matter. Include in your answer an evaluation of the impact of the development of mathematics on science.
- PHILOSOPHY. Sketch the development of human thought; estimate its significance. Compare with the development of any other kind of thought.
- GENERAL KNOWLEDGE. Describe in detail, briefly.
- EXTRA CREDIT. Define the universe. Give three examples.
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