How To Be A Good Republican
Categories: Humor
My friend sent this to me... I don't think he's a good republican!
. . .
Here are a few of my observations on ways to be a good REPUBLICAN:
- You have to believe that Fox News is "fair and balanced."
- You have to believe that Paris Hilton shouldn't pay a penny in estate taxes.
- You have to believe that any sort of taxes are things that only the poor and middle class should pay.
- You have to ignore science (evolution, stem cell research, global warming, etc.).
- You have to believe in theocracy (but only if it's YOUR religion in power, of course).
- You have to believe that criminal drug abusers belong UNDER the jail unless they're rich, bombastic, conservative talk show hosts.
- You have to SAY you're against big government but then grow it to benefit fellow Republicans.
- You have to believe that George Bush is intelligent, is always truthful, is a "uniter not a divider" and is a compassionate conservative.
- You have to be pro-life for other people's children BEFORE they're born but not help provide for the needy ones AFTER they're born and, of course KILL them all (this is pro-life?) if they break laws as adults.
- You have to believe that raising the minimum wage causes unemployment.
- You have to believe that since YOU can afford health care, everyone else should have to entirely pay for their own. Let them get rich!
To sum up, you have to believe completely in the New Testament (except of course where it says we should love our neighbors as ourselves, feed the hungry, clothe the naked, and do unto others (even Iraq and Iran) as we would have others do unto us; because that "stuff" sounds like socialism and pacifism).
Posted by rickroot at 8:36 AM | Link | 6 comments
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Re: How To Be A Good Republican
I'm politically neutral, but to be fair, to be democrat you have to believe that only the rich should be taxed while everyone else gets a free ride. :)
Posted by Tariq Ahmed on May 23, 2006 at 9:31 AM
Re: How To Be A Good Republican
Well of course we all speak in absolutes while the truth lies somewhere in between. But then it wouldn't be funny =)
Posted by rickroot on May 23, 2006 at 10:04 AM
Re: How To Be A Good Republican
TO BE A GOOD DEMOCRAT
--you must believe everyone must be equal in financial status and nobody can ever work hard in order to get ahead and better himself without it all being taken away and distrubuted to lazy bums
--you must stand aside while others fly planes into buildings in your country and not do anything while they kill innocent women and children
--you must bad mouth ANY politician that is republican and find every fault whether it be true or not even if the replubican is more qualified for his position than anybody else
I have many more examples, but I have become bored with this. So with that, I think I shall go get rich and start a United Causasian College Fund.Thank you and have a nice day.
--you must believe everyone must be equal in financial status and nobody can ever work hard in order to get ahead and better himself without it all being taken away and distrubuted to lazy bums
--you must stand aside while others fly planes into buildings in your country and not do anything while they kill innocent women and children
--you must bad mouth ANY politician that is republican and find every fault whether it be true or not even if the replubican is more qualified for his position than anybody else
I have many more examples, but I have become bored with this. So with that, I think I shall go get rich and start a United Causasian College Fund.Thank you and have a nice day.
Posted by Everett on August 10, 2006 at 7:16 PM
Re: How To Be A Good Republican
Yeah, but my post is funny. Yours is just bitter.
Posted by rickroot on August 11, 2006 at 5:04 AM
Re: How To Be A Good Republican
I think Everett needs a hug...
Posted by garret on September 8, 2006 at 9:20 PM
Re: How To Be A Good Republican
It was a dark day for the republican party when they allowed religion to enter there politics. It has always been a dark day for any politcal group when religion enteres the mix.
Conserative is the following of "principles" not religion. Also faith is different than religion. Faith being a non-wordly quality, and religion being an institution of society.
So a historic republican such as Abraham Lincoln had principles and faith all together with out one inch of religion.
I love the rebublican party, ideas of principled leadership, faith in those principles not the whims of public opinion, and faith to carry it all through.
I do agree that religion has wrecked the republican party, and they should have been smart enough to keep boundries between church and state. Church and principle, and even the difference between church and faith.
Conserative is the following of "principles" not religion. Also faith is different than religion. Faith being a non-wordly quality, and religion being an institution of society.
So a historic republican such as Abraham Lincoln had principles and faith all together with out one inch of religion.
I love the rebublican party, ideas of principled leadership, faith in those principles not the whims of public opinion, and faith to carry it all through.
I do agree that religion has wrecked the republican party, and they should have been smart enough to keep boundries between church and state. Church and principle, and even the difference between church and faith.
Posted by kantipala on July 21, 2007 at 5:32 AM